Sources:
Sinyor, M., Kozloff, N., Reis, C., & Schaffer, A. (2017). An Observational Study of Suicide Death in Homeless and Precariously Housed People in Toronto. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 62(7), 501–505. https://doi.org/10.1177/0706743717705354
Webster, P. (2017). Bringing homeless deaths to light. Canadian Medical Association Journal, 189(11). doi: 10.1503/cmaj.1095399
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I really enjoyed reading this post. From the first line, I was definitely interested in the topic, as I’m not too educated on this topic but also because of the interesting quote you started with.
There were a few techniques you used I thought were extremely effective, the first being the use of visual aid to support your blog and take the reader on a little journey. After you explained something, you attached an image so as the reader, I could see exactly what you saw during your time there and therefore feel like I’m apart of the story.
Next, I thought your balance of opinion and facts worked really well with the topic you chose. Presenting your shock by the number and the idea of these deaths being preventable evokes a certain emotion from the reader. You then explored the topic from an objective point of view, convincing me that preventable deaths in homeless populations is a serious problem in Toronto. Ending with a call to action is a good place to end seeing as this is such a complex issue and there is no one solution, just like there is no one problem causing all these deaths.
One thing I think would be interesting for you to have explored would have been to structure the intro slightly differently. By setting up a question with the quote at the beginning of the post, you set yourself up to instantly grab a readers attention, however by answering the question immediately, I feel that you lose some of that initial intrigue/advantage. Perhaps if you stretched out the anecdote and then informed readers of what the list was about a bit later (not too late though), it would have had a bigger shock attached to it
Nice job picking a unique yet important topic, definitely excited to read your future posts!
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Thanks for the great in depth feedback! I really appreciate it 🙂
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